Smart-A** Responses to Questions about Your Thesis/Dissertation Progress

A member recently started a new thread wherein she asked people how they respond to the DREADED “How’s your thesis/dissertation coming along?” or “When again will you be done?” questions.

I have tweaked and combined two responses (a list of humorous, smart-a** answer and a real answer) into the content below. Please add your favorite responses in the comments! We’d love to hear them.

Wishing you peaceful patience with self and others. 🙂 Enjoy!


The smart-a** responses (good for a laugh)!

10. “D*mn! I knew that there was something that I forgot to do….”
9. “As soon as my pimp starts giving me Thursdays off so that I can go to the library.”
8. “Whenever the little voices tell me to finish.”
7. “When I’ve had as much fun as I can stand.”
6. “Finish? And leave all of this glamorous stress and poverty behind? You must be mad.”
5. “No one finishes her dissertation in my department. Our degree program is like the Bottomless Coffee Pot at International House of Pancakes.”
4. “I used to want to finish — but that was before I fell in love with my advisor. As long as those chapter review meetings are the only way for me to spend time with him/her, I’m not going anywhere, pal.”
3. “Don’t spread this around, but I’m just in it for the Student Loan checks.”
2. “As soon as I find that quarter that I dropped in the library five years ago.”
1. “When? Never. The grad student thing is my new cover identity: I’m really in the Federal Witness Protection Program.”

A REAL ANSWER: “I have to write a book that is approved by my supervisor and 3 experts in my field. And I can’t just tell the story (that would be journalism). This is social science. That means I have to lay some theory on top of it. The theory is complex as I must treat the topic quite thoroughly, so . . . Any suggestions?”


1 thought on “Smart-A** Responses to Questions about Your Thesis/Dissertation Progress

  1. Pingback: Diary of a Grad Student: Aesthetic Experience « Portia Placino

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